Three Days, Two Birthdays, One Grateful Dad
I just lived through three days that, in my past life, would’ve drained me — emotionally, physically, and spiritually. But today, I’m sitting here not only sober, but thankful. Because somehow, I didn’t just survive the birthday gauntlet — I showed up for it.
🎈 Day 1: Fruit Bowls and Full Presence
Saturday, we kicked off the celebration weekend with a shopping trip for Lacie’s birthday. She turned 15 — which is wild — because while she hangs out with older friends and carries herself with this quiet confidence, I still see flashes of the little girl who needed us for everything.
She asked Rhonda to take her shopping for gifts and, in a surprising twist, invited Kailyn and me to come too. Now, past me? I’d have come up with a million reasons to skip it — “I have work to do,” “It’s too hot,” or just the honest truth: “Sounds boring.”
And yeah, maybe those excuses were half to stay home and relax with a cold drink. But more than that, it was my mindset. If something didn’t directly benefit me or sound fun to me, I didn’t want to do it.
But now, I try to show up. I try to be intentional. And when Lacie said, “You’re not allowed to complain,” I laughed and nodded in agreement. I was all in.
We walked around in 100+ degree heat, popped into stores I didn’t recognize (or understand), I carried bags like a Saint Bernard, and cracked jokes with Kailyn.
And when it came time for lunch? Of course it was Lacie’s pick and we ended up at Playa Bowls. Acai, chia seeds, flax, not really my thing. In the past, I’d have sulked or searched for a “real meal” nearby. Even Rhonda said something about me being able to find something else nearby. And in the past, I definitely would have done just that. But this time? I shut my phone, got a bowl, didn’t say a word… and absolutely loved it.
We laughed. We shopped some more. We were together. Not just standing next to each other — actually together. And I didn’t take that for granted for a second.
🎂 Day 2: Brunch, Gifts, and Grapefruit-Rosewater Clarity
Lacie’s actual birthday was the next day, and she was all smiles. Honestly, it felt like she’d already been 15 for months, but this made it official.
We headed to The Roosevelt Room in historic downtown St. Augustine — one of her favorite spots. She’s got three friends who work there, and we’d been once before and loved it. It’s a chill, stylish place that doesn’t serve liquor, just beer, wine, and a few pre-made cocktails.
In the past, my brain would’ve been fixated on brunch drinks. What to get, how many, would we go somewhere after? That little buzz was the goal. Even now, that craving sometimes creeps in at places like this. But I saw they had a grapefruit and rose water mocktail, so I grabbed one. It wasn’t whiskey neat, but it scratched the itch — and more importantly, I stayed present.
Later that day, we had some people over and watched Lacie open gifts — well, reopen, since she had picked them all out herself the day before. But what got me wasn’t her reaction. It was watching her give gifts to Rhonda.
Rhonda’s birthday was the next day, and Lacie had insisted she open her gifts too. And when she did, I saw something in Lacie’s eyes — this raw appreciation. This love. Something she doesn’t always say out loud, but it was there, loud and clear. That moment hit me like a wave. Half joy, half ache. It’s this weird emotional overload I’ve started having in sobriety — where I feel everything at once.
And if I’m honest… I love it.
🪪 Day 3: The DMV, a Birthday, and a Parking Lot Test Drive
Ah yes. Rhonda’s birthday. You’d think we’d do something relaxing, maybe brunch or a beach day. Instead? We headed to the DMV.
Lacie was ready to get her learner’s permit. DMV is usually dead around here — but not that day. It was slammed. Rhonda had to work at noon, but we figured we had plenty of time.
Plot twist: We did not.
After two hours, we finally got called… only to find out we didn’t have her original birth certificate. Just a copy. So we bolted down the road to the Department of Health to get one, then raced back. Another 30-minute wait. Rhonda had to leave for work, so we got Kailyn’s boyfriend Talan to swing by to pick her up.
Finally, Lacie and I were called again. But now? The ID system is down. The DMV employee offers a paper permit and says the real ID could take up to 60 days.
But wait, there’s more!
The system that verifies her online written test? Also down.
So now we’re told: come back another day… or wait and hope. If the system doesn’t come back today, she’ll have to retest and wait another full year to get her license from that day.
We go home and wait.
An hour later, the phone rings. The system’s back. We jet back to the DMV — and this time? Everything works. She gets the permit.
On the way home, we pulled into an empty parking lot. Lacie slid into the driver’s seat for her very first time behind the wheel. She was nervous. I was… calm.
And that was weirdly new for me.
When Kailyn first started driving, I was a mess. Not just a protective dad mess — like, full-on anxiety-sweating, overreacting, white-knuckling the door handle. But back then, I was deep in my addiction. I can see now how much of my stress came from that mental fog. That constant inner panic. That need to control something because I couldn’t control myself.
But now, I sat next to Lacie, calm and proud. And I realized something:
I’m not just showing up — I’m staying present.
Getting sober didn’t just change how I spend my time. It changed how I value it.
These three days could’ve been exhausting. I would’ve made them about me. My comfort. My schedule. My cravings.
Instead… I made them about the people I love.
And they became three of the best days I can remember.
✍️ WRITE YOUR OWN SONG
If you’re reading this and you’re on your own journey — whether it’s sobriety, parenthood, or just trying to show up more — take a beat and answer these:
When was the last time you did something for someone else that you used to avoid — and actually enjoyed it?
What’s a “little” moment you’re grateful you didn’t miss recently?
Where do you still feel resistance — that old voice whispering “this doesn’t benefit you”?
What milestone (big or small) have you handled differently now that you’re clear-headed?
How can you slow down and really see the people you love this week — not just be around them, but with them?